I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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