Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
