Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
