I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
