Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
