i need an iv and a liver transplant
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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