woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
