i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Im part way to drunk.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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