I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
