I bet he comes in French.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
