that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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