i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
