You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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