Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Randomize