fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
