Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
