Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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