I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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