so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
