Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
