Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
