Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
