this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize