I think I am morally bankrupt
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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