I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
