My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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