we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
