Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
