Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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