Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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