My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
