I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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