Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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