He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize