trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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