I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I have aggressive nipples.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
