Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Holy sore nipples Batman
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
