theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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