I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
