Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize