I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
