yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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