you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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