I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
