Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
