After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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