you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
