yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
