I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize