Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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