i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
