69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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