You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
