your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
