I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
