Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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