I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
