I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
