HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
