i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize