I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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