well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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