He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
