Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
