There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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