She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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