Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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