So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
