I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
