New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
