Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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