Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I think my vagina is haunted
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
