how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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