happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
