so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize